The 10 stages of a hangover with kids…
1. The night out. The culprit. That wonderful warm feeling as you get all dressed up for a rare night out. Completely shutting out the pain you will feel tomorrow. Pure denial. Be grand.
2. The 6.30am wake up call from one of the kids looking for something. Scraping your eyelids open and feeling like someone poured a bucket of sand down your throat in the middle of the night. You can’t cope with this. Why did you have that last drink!!
3. Falling in and out of a fuzzy unsettling sleep for the next couple of hours with the sound of the kids vaguely popping into your head every ten minutes.
4. Awake. Feeling good. Breakfast and a cup of tea. You feel grand. Sorted. Brilliant.
5. Headache is creeping in. Eyes feel scratchy. Voice is gone from all that horrific singing. Is it really only 12 o clock??
6. Flashbacks. Oh God. Did you really do that dance move? And did you actually keep trying to pluck the bouncer’s eyebrow because there was one stray that was annoying you!!? The shame.
7. Scoffing whatever junk food you can find while the kids aren’t looking. Two packets of monster munch and a bar of chocolate consumed on the sly by 2 o clock.
8. Resting your poor heavy head on a pillow at every opportunity while the kids play. If you’re lucky they will play happily and leave you in your misery. If you’re unlucky the kids will demand your full attention all day, there will be many tantrums and you will want to die.
9. Dinner. Soakage. This Sunday Dinner has never tasted so damn good! Feeling more normal now.
10. Kids are in bed. You survived! You’ve perked up. Feel great in fact. Hair of the dog? Sure just one then..