The 10 steps of filling the Pool
The sun is shining. The kids have been asking for a pool day in the garden. Sounds like a fun idea. Let’s do it.
1. Get the pool out and spend 2 hours searching for the pump.
2. The pump is a shitty manual one and you’ll be here all day. Spend 40 minutes pumping it up, sweating, with intervals of standing up straight to hold your back and catch your breath. Vow to buy an electric pump for next time.
3. Unravel the hose, which has 57 knots in it, and stick it in the pool.
4. The pool is ready. The kids have the swim gear on. Towels are down all over the grass. Go!
5. They’ve only been it a minute and have already dragged in half the garden. It now resembles a swamp.
6. They’re having the time of their lives.. for about 82 seconds before one starts splashing and another is crying because it got in his eye.
7. Shout things such as “KEEP THE WATER IN THE POOL” / “DON’T SPLASH HIM HE DOESN’T LIKE IT / “YOU’RE SOAKING MY WASHING!”
8. 21 minutes later and they’re “bored” and “finished”. Pool day is apparently over. It’s 11am.
9. Swear blind that you won’t be doing that again.
10. Repeat next sunny day