The 12 Stages of Back To School

“Hasn’t it flown in?” “Where does the time go” “Hard to believe it’s August already” “Sure it’s nearly Christmas!”

We’ve all said all these yeh? Okay the last one maybe not! I’m a sucker for Christmas, and, don’t shoot me, sort of like the fact that we’re on the run up to the BEST time of the year! Sorry Summer.

Not that it’s not great and all spending every week checking Met Eireann to see if we’re actually going to get sunshine this week, or spending an insanely crazy amount of weeks with the kids. Non. Stop.

I love my kids. Obviously. And we’ve had lots of fun this Summer and made lots of memories. But I’m ready for routine again. And that being said, let’s take a moment to prepare ourselves for the absolute chaos that is going back to school.

  1. They’ve been staying up late yet still waking early all Summer. Rest assured, on the first day back to school they will do what you’ve been asking them to do since June, and will still be dead to the world at 8.30am.

2. They’re like a bag of rats and getting dressed into anything but a pair of shorts and a t shirt has become foreign to them. It takes forever, with plenty of sighing and moaning at you as if you invented the feckin’ uniform.

3. They’ve reluctantly eaten 3 spoonfuls of rice krispies and a vitamin tablet, their bodies still in shock from the early start.

4. You’ve packed their homemade lunch which, being day 1, has been made with enthusiasm and optimism, and is full of things like fruit kebabs and wholemeal wraps. In a few weeks it’ll be 2 crackers and a ham sandwich.

5. You’ve packed all their new stationary, full of hope that maybe this will be the year they don’t lose everything, and you won’t spend the entire school year saying “How have you lost all your rubbers again??” “This is the last time I’m buying you more pens!*)

*It won’t be the last time, and you all know it.

6. The walk to school is like The Last Mile. (For them. You’re skipping)

7. They see their friends and all is right with the world. You and the other Mammies run to each with sheer excitement at seeing other adults at this hour and giddy with happiness.

8. You wave them off as their lines go in, a pang of emotion that another Summer is actually over, that they’re that bit older and another school year begins. Time flies. The little Angels. You’ll miss them.

9. You skip off to Lidl. You’re only short of doing twirls of joy with your arms in the air in each aisle as you get the shopping without the kids telling you how boring this is, begging for sweets and generally making you lose the will to live and cry into a bag of carrots.

10. You collect the kids and can’t wait for them to tell you all about their first day back. Most likely this will go as follows: You – “How was your day? Tell me everything!” Them – “Fine.” You – “What did you do all day?” Them – “I don’t know” End of conversation.

11. They have homework. What?? It’s the first day back! A 3 page essay on how their Summer was? There’s tears. From all of you! The homework stress all comes flooding back leaving you with chills…

12. Oh shit. Roll on mid term!

Leave a Reply